The Moose

Wondering whether the person within,

was as beautiful as the appearance without.

I happily chanced her presence, a win,

as i went looking for coffee about.

Entered the green caffeine stop,

I spotted her fast as I she saw me smile.

'Ka, ka...Kate? your name I forgot?

'Kaitlin. You too also? It's been awhile.'

I know she knows, and she knows I know

but we play on for its the first up close

Her eyes that enchant and her smile that loves,

Oh if only her heart and spirit can keep up.

She feigns disinterest as,

she looks at the mugs.

Pretending to not care,

that I'm close enough to hug.

'The best one is right before your nose

for it glistens and stands out on its toes.'

Which cup to you think I'd prefer?

The white, the brown, I'm guessing for sure.'

No, fair angel, but the gold one that's pure,

it's simple, elegant, though it won't endure. 

Plain, too plain, you've got a plain stare,

but did I mention that I do like your hair?

It the one with design, with color to choose,

The one with the brown silhouette of a moose.

Had another song writing dream last night.  Can't remember all of the words, and I don't know how to write down the music...but here's the last line of the chorus:

You, you light up my world, ever'a since the day that you became my girl!

Kind of had a "you can't hurry love" by Phil Collins sound to it.

Cool, anyway - just wanted to jot that down before I forgot it...probably makes for boring reading later.

Hallelujah
Rufus Wainwright

intro:
|C Am|C Am|

1st:
C Am
I’ve heard there was a secret chord
C Am
That David played and it pleased the Lord
F G C G
But you don’t really care for music do you?

C F G
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
Am F
The minor fall, the major lift
G Em Am
The baffled King composing Hallelujah

F Am
Hallelujah, hallelujah
F C-G-C-C
Hallelujah, hallelujah

2nd:
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you

She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

3rd:
Maybe I’ve been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you

I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

5th:
There was a time when you let me know
What’s real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?

And remember when I moved in you
The Holy Dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

6th:
Maybe there’s a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you

And it’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah
F Am
Hallelujah, hallelujah
F C-G
Hallelujah, hallelujah
F Am
Hallelujah, hallelujah
F C-G-C
Hallelujah, hallelujah

[somewhere i have never travelled]

Somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

any experience,your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me

though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and

my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility: whose texture

compels me with the color of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens; only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

Love like it's going to save you.

There is this something about love, about friendship - this something which I've identified as vulnerability.  When we are insecure (or/if because) we've been hurt before by friends, family, lovers...there is a tendency to hide ourselves.  We hide who we are so that we don't get hurt...because when we are rejected for living as we know, it is easier to hide so that the rebukes stop.  I've experienced this and it hurts now to talk about it.  I've felt my trust and confidence betrayed.  Sometimes the worst betrayal, is when the deceiver is in my past.  Or in my heart, still there.  Deceiving with fantasy.  Then, if that fantasy is projected onto a real person and they reject you...or reject who you pretend to be, in your fantasy, the pain doubles.  To have true relationships we must feel comfortable with who we are, at least comfortable enough to show who we really are - to be vulnerable to critisism, to rejection.  Otherwise we always feel like they don't know us, and we can't share what we are thinking or feeling...and we are trapped again, alone.  And nobody wants to be alone.  There must be a key to putting past pain behind, being yourself, and finding people who are truly attracted to that.  When people are attracted to what we really feel, to what we really think, we find validation and understanding...and to feel understood and accepted, is at the core of what we call, love.  We must also find the room in our hearts to accept and understand others for who they really are - without judgement or condemnation - to allow them to be themselves.  Then they will feel loved.  Encourage people to show who they really are, and then validate that, and love them.  Just love people for who they are rather than viewing everyone as competitors, or viewing them as obstacles, or worse - viewin them as opportunities.  Give.  Open handed.  Open hearted.  Accept, open minded.  Open hearted.  Love like it's the only thing that can save you.  Because it is.

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere I go

you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

                                   

I fear no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

E.E. Cummings

The art of losing isnt hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isnt hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing farther:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! My last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isnt hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms i owned, two rivers and a continent,
I miss them, but it wasnt a disaster. 
 

-Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shant have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Elizabeth Bishop- One Art.

I found a theme song for 2008, the year my life took a major turn - a year that will be marked as climactic and a paradigm shift. 2008 will be recorded as one of the best years of my life because I decided to say what was in my heart openly, without holding back, yet sincerely and with the motive of healing, opening, loving. Thank you John Mayer for your lyrics which touch on this theme:

"Say"

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]

The Road Not Taken - Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

She Walks in Beauty

She Walks in Beauty
Lord Byron

She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Poetically Chanced

Poem lyrics of When You Are Old by William Butler Yeats.

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.